Ah, the BIG difficulties we get ourselves into by not nothing small differences. Actually they are not small at all, but you have to stop yourself and reflect to see that.
Take tolerance for example. It means being open to differences, accepting that others are not like you, don´t think or feel like you. Tolerance is encapsulated in the old saying “live and let live”. Urbanity is another term that covers more or less the same thing.
There are many aspects and shading of this term that one could and should go into, like “Should we tolerate anything?”, “What not?” and “Why not?”. But breakfast is waiting for me. So only one aspect, but an essential one.
Fear of not seeming tolerant ≠[does not equal] tolerance.
This is an immensely important thing to consider in a world where appearance and image (and image management) are so central.
“Esse non videri” means to be and not seem to be. However the actual case is more often “videri non esse” — seem to be, not be. This is the predominant logic of our world. Therefore it is not strange that we should confuse tolerance with fear of not seeming tolerant. Not strange, but still not excusable if we aim to live some kind of philosophical life.
Enough, breakfast is waiting. And yes, I AM hungry, is not just my image.
PS: It is supposedly something bad or ridiculous to be a wannabe. No, it´s great to want to BE, and act accordingly. Again we are missing a nuance; we should criticize the wanna-be-seen-as.