Manuscript found in a beauty box

Necessity knows no law.

Sometimes your need is so great that you  are forced to use the wrong toilet. No ladies there, but in a  corner an abandoned, battered beauty box. Among lipsticks and brushes I find the following MS.


The commandments of Enemism

Sisters! Remember that you need men. Without men you don’t have an enemy, thus no war, thus nothing to live for.

Never be moderate or understanding!

Deny any eventual similarities with the enemy. That might lessen and soften the struggle. No mercy, no sympathy, no empathy. Just enmity!

Find fault wherever and whenever you can. If a man says something bad about you he is insolent. If he complements you, he is sexist. If he says nothing he is ignoring the issue or you — or proves by his silence that he is defeated. In either case, we win!

Wield the sword of victim-power. If you haven’t been raped or sexually assaulted, search your memory and you will surely find some instance of male insolence, touch, gaze (the new evil eye!) or being totally ignored that you can construe as harassment.

Nurture your sensitive corns, water your hurts. They are your greatest assets, your most powerful weapons in the struggle of our Enemistic Liberation Army.

Use political and military words like “rights”,”demands”, “struggle”, “liberation”, “power”, “empowerment” (“disempowerment” even more of course) a LOT. They should be your meat and potatoes. Avoid soft words like “love”, “harmony” and “peace”.

Shun peace, even the word. It is your worst, your ACTUAL enemy, since it removes your war and enemies.

Don’t get too close to men; you might loose your edge, get sentimental and wishy-washy. It’s hard to pull the trigger when you see the enemy eye to eye. Avoid him. Step back and step away. Do it with telecom: fire and pull the trigger on social media at a safe distance.

Always use blunt weapons, terms that are imprecise and vague and that hit both guilty and innocent. That will keep things going. You can rest assured the war will never stop. Not only will the guilty be angered and shamed, so will the innocent.

Deny that there exist such a thing as innocence. Only women can be innocent!

Don’t stop the carousel. Where will you be without ongoing conflict? Where will you be without victimization, victimhood, harassment? The very raison d’etre of the enemist will evaporate.

Therefore, don’t ever admit it, but value your enemy highly. Without him you are nothing. (Don’t tell anyone, but your enemy is your best friend!)

E.L.A.


I hope this note is a joke, of course. Unfortunately, Homo sapiens has a long history of making jokes into bloody realities.

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