A letter to my daughter, if I had one

(Letter to my daughter, if I had one. Written in the heat of the #MeToo campaign of late 2017.)

My dear daughter

Your mother long ago told you about the birds and the bees. Those things were very different in my times. Many of us got the information late, and in strange ways. Parents are no longer needed for THAT, now that there is Internet (the ways of which also are strange).

I want to tell you something that is more difficult to Google, something that Google might even hide from you. It is not knowledge or information but insight, maybe just love. Because I care about you and love you.

Let’s start with the grim part. Get yourself a can of pepper spray. I don’t give a fig if it’s illegal, just get it. Then take a self-defense course or learn on the Internet how to defend yourself if “the shit hits the fan”. (A colorful expression from my youth, meaning: if you end up in some violent, force majeur situation.)

This every self-respecting (or man-hating) feminist could have told you. Yes, sometimes it’s a jungle out there and I see no reason why my daughter should not defend herself if attacked. Not everybody plays fair, so why should you?

My next advice is: PLAY FAIR! As much as you can, play fair. You are by tradition called the fair sex, but that word has a double meaning. Don’t just be pretty, be also just. Be more than the fair sex, be the fair playing sex. That will make me proud of you.

Try to understand how different life is for men and women. You have heard about all the injustice committed against women. Much of that is true. (How much depends on who your source is. Men commit most crimes but the number of men committing crimes is very small.) There are horrible crimes committed against women — and men. Don’t make yourself stupid and blind, the coin always has two sides.

Be aware of power, so that you don’t misuse it. Look behind and beyond appearances. The seemingly weakest can be the strongest, and the seemingly strongest are sometimes practically impotent and powerless.

The prostrate lover, when he lowest lies
But stoops to conquer, and but kneels to rise.

How can that be, how can a victim be stronger than a perpetrator?

Because of victim power, the power you get by portraying yourself as a helpless victim. You are old enough to know about girly tricks. So am I, by now.

Don’t use the trick of looking weak and stupid. Color your hair any color but don’t be blonde on the inside. Be dumb by all means if you cannot help it, but don’t play dumb. It’s NOT smart.

And don’t even be smart. Smart is for animals. Be sharp.

We both know that playing dumb will get your perks and privileges. A free drink, help with your laptop or your broken down car, the best seat in the hall, and not least the appreciating looks of men who want to protect you, and more.

Don’t play that game, daughter. Be my daughter, be more original than that.

So what game SHOULD you play? Why not GO or chess. Or any other game that is about fun and play. About mutual fun.

But don’t play the power games. Yes, they may seem like innocent fun but if you are sharp (and honest) you know there is more behind the curtain. For example maintaining your status.

What status? you ask.

Don’t play ignorant. Your status as the fair sex, the weak sex, the oppressed sex. Yes, it’s awful that you cannot take a stroll alone at night without fearing this and that. I walk a lot in the night, without any fear at all. That’s why I tell you to learn self-defence and not walk alone.

But beyond that, be the fair-playing sex. Don’t use men, and never take revenge on men who have done nothing to you, who on the contrary help you in many ways, respect you just because you are female, unprotected and supposedly weak.

Don’t be unprotected but also don’t be weak. Don’t hide behind a mask of blonde innocence and naivety. Don’t play charades, unless you play charades.

In other words, don’t be just any daughter.

Yes, I expect things from you. More than from many other women. You say that’s unfair? Expecting much can be more than “fair”.

By setting up a high goal for you I show you my respect. You see, in my life not many women have deserved my unreserved respect. Why is that? Because I see too many feminine games, too much conformism, too much concern about surfaces (clothes, hairstyle, the latest trend or fashion).

Women can remind me of Christmas. We men sometimes dress the Christmas tree, but many women ARE Christmas trees. Be much more than a Christmas tree! Don’t be afraid of being deep, or intelligent, or wise. You don’t have to wait until you are old and grey for that. Just look at your mother.

If “deep” scares some men, so be it. Forget about fearful men. There’s no men shortage on the planet.

In a way both men and women are stuck in cliche roles. We for example always turn around after a good looking woman, you never turn around after us — even if you find us attractive. You, little princess, have learned that that is not done.

But what about noblesse oblige?

Do you have ANY idea what joy you could give a poor bastard, especially if he is not photogenic, if you turned around after him, or even looked at him for more than three seconds?

Yes, but that could be dangerous! your guardian feminists say. That could encourage him, awaken the wild beast in him, the Mr Hyde in him, the monster within him.

Well, it could even make his day.

 Be a woman, daughter.

Don’t be a man, but don’t be ONLY a woman. Be more than that.

You have heard about anima and animus, the female part of man and the male part of woman. Let’s say Yin and Yang. Both contain a bit of each other.

Just as I try to build the positive Yin /female/ part in myself, so build you the positive Yang in yourself. Don’t regress, don’t remain a girly girl your entire life. Cultivate feminine graces but forget about “graces” that are there to rake in privileges.

Be responsible and develop both Yin and Yang. Be a strong woman, but with the other sex, not against it. Don’t wage amazon war and don’t twist men around your little finger.

Don’t do this.

Know that it is much to easy to oppress men. I know what I am talking about. Be aware of male weakness. See it, observe it and be strong enough not to take advantage of it, proving that you belong to the fair-playing sex.

Men get lonely and cold and long for an embrace, a warm soft woman to hold. Many women know this but are also practical and business-minded, their pocket calculator never far away.

Okay, so what can I get for my warm embrace? Let’s see, a house, swimming pool, a BMW…

Don’t be a businesswoman, my daughter. That would make your bohemian father very sad. Only do business in the best, cleanest and most honest way. Pay for the wares with money, not yourself, not with false smiles or pretended charm. Use your smile and charm to make others feel good, not to buy yourself feminine advantages.

Know your gift. Know that the smile of a woman can be a blessing, almost a symbol of the Sun. You probably cannot imagine what joy a girl’s or woman’s smile can bring to a man. Know this, ponder this, then act wisely.

Don’t smile in a mercantile way. That gives you unfair advantage, it’s like doping. Play fair and use your real advantage; that of being a creature with different qualities and talents than men. Be Venus, not Mars in drag. Bring warmth and beauty and kindness to the world.

God knows we men often cannot muster those qualities, we even voluntarily go against them. We like fighting and shouting and shooting too much. Don’t imitate us. It’s bad enough as it is. (But also don’t forget how much beauty some of us have brought into the world, with music, poetry and art. )

Consider your rights and consider your gifts and duties. Help the world by making it softer, warmer, kinder, more peaceful. You are much needed in the world, but be a real sun, not a pretty, fake solarium.

Be more than fair. Be (like your mother) warm and beautiful, but also containing the positive, energetic, sharply thinking Yang.

Finally, listen to the world: the words, the sounds, the voices, including your own.

A woman’s voice can be the sweetest music in the world. But understand its double-edged nature. Girlish laughter is a wonderful sound, but directed against a man, laughing AT and not with him, it is like a cold sword stuck in his heart. I have felt it. I would be glad, and proud, if my daughter never gave anyone that experience.


Your father

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Perfume as charisma

I consider myself to be perfume crazy (that should be perfume wise) but I hadn’t seen the film The Perfume until today.

I started to read the book many years ago but didn’t get far, in spite of the subject; it did not feel like good literature, or simple readable.

The film shows clearly the limitations of “genius”. Grenouille is a perfume genius but that is his sole strength. He is more of a savant, however, I feel that much more praised and less fictitious “geniuses” should also be regarded as savants.

A very strong specialization, meaning being very brilliant but only in one region, is an unbalanced thing. Sch a person can only contribute in very specialized and limited way to the world.

What struck me was the ending of the film.

Grenouille is not executed, he has literally one more trick, his greatest, up his sleeve. Having distilled the scent of a number of dead maidens, he has composed a perfume that is more than charming, seducing, or even magical.

It literally turns him, not in the eyes but in the noses of his fellow human beings, into, first, an innocent man, and then, an angel.

This is olfactory charisma. I think of the odor of sanctity of holy men and women. I have met a couple of holy people, in the sense of very advanced, but they didn’t smell better than others. (Or my nose is not developed enough for this.)

What if it was possible to construct a scent that had this or similar effect on people? Is anybody trying? The opposite — of course, on this warlike planet – is true. The military are experimenting with odors so bad people will puke. How unimaginative! If I were a military strategist I would commission a scent that would make my enemy love me.

What then would I do with him? Let’s not even think about it. Military ambitions are about seducing, controlling, putting down.

However, I am also reminded of Carel Capek’s book “The absolute at large”, where an inventor constructs, of all things, a carburator in the vicinity of which everybody sees God, The Absolute.

Now that is really something! A heavenly carburator.

But the subject is somehow still charisma. We perceive it in looks mainly.

True, some have magnetic voices and we fall into their spell when listening to them. Of course their words also add to the effect, thus effecting our mental sense.

But a scent would go deeper, it would need no words, no looks, no movement even. You could be dead and smell good and people would be, in the old sense, charmed by you.

Women speak about falling in love with a man, or his after-shave. I can believe it. But I don’t think it was only his after-shave. We perceive, receive people as a package, and seldom deconstruct them into their constituent parts. Scent comes together with visual impressions, sounds, words, and a lot of more or less un-analyzable material.

Of course a scent is a short-cut. Let’s train and practice our own odor of santicity. It might be felt if not by noses then by our

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Partner with me


Here’s how you can be more than a spectator in this World Wide Web which so often reduces people to surfers, voyeurs, consumers.

You can actually be my partner.

Partner and partnering can mean many things. We can marry (a very limited offer, that one ,-), start a business together or co-author a book. Or maybe play four-handed music together (yes, I am a pianist).

We can make a joint project around PEACE, which is my main occupation nowadays.

There are also less obvious ways to partner. We can have an interesting, mutually benefiting (what I call interligent) conversation. And If I write a book and you read it we are also partners. I give, you receive, Yang-Yin fashion.

Same thing if you listen to my compositions. Listeners are important partners.

If I write a book and you buy it and read it we are even more partners. Then your financial contribution makes it possible for me to keep writing and puts food on my table. Today when almost everything on the Net is free it is easy to forget that food still isn’t.

In this give and take-process, this partnership not in crime but in creation, I use different tools.

1) FLATTR A Sweden based “social micropayment service” that enables online content consumers to financially reward creators for their fantastic creations. Here is my Flattr page.


2) SWISH. You can transfer money through telephone, to number: 0765-740140

3) PATREON. This is a modern, rather American, incarnation of the old idea of patronage.

These are the areas I work in.

  • P E A C E  R E S E A R C H  (The Venusian Peace Project; Whole-Note)
  • M u s i c (Composer Ladislaus Horatius; Music Tasting; Journey to Melosophia)
  • M a g a z i n e s (Headwind; FIMUM (in Swedish))
  • T h e  a r t  o f  p a r t i e s (Partyology)
  • P h i l o s o p h y  a n d  i n t e l l i g e n c e (Upgrade to intelligence)
  • P h o t o g r a p h y (The Gentleman Photographer)
    So, do you wanna dance?.

T h e  p r o j e c t s  i n  d e t a i l
Let’s start off with the Swedish magazine.

FIMUM Gazette, ett kulturmagasin om filosofi, musik och umgänge

Du har redan know-how och insider-information? Gå då vidare och stötta med en dollar för att gå utanför burken och också skaffa outsiderinformation. HEMSIDA   //  PATREON

THE VENUSIAN PEACE PROJECT, innovation and independent peace research

If you want to do more for peace and planetary harmony than the same old routines — namely support an individual who does original, independent research — fund with one dollar on Patreon.  HOMEPAGE  // PATREON

COMPOSER LADISLAUS HORATIUS, my music + views on the role of music creation today

If you want to get inside the head of a living, rather atypical modern composer, fund with one dollar on Patreon. My composer channel on YouTube // PATREON 

Upgrade to interligence, regenerating mere intelligence

Intelligence has a good name in our world, actually too good a name when you objectively consider that its fruits can be benign, neutral and really malignant. Interligence is a dialect, if you will, of intelligence where the bad parts are rooted out. If the positive possibilities of “defanged” intelligence interest you, fund with a dollar on Patreon. HOMEPAGE  //


That’s a bit silly, most of what I do is against some kind of grain, but you know what I mean… If you want to peruse writing beyond viral and populist, fund with a dollar on Patreon.  HOMEPAGE // CLICK HERE

MUSIC TASTING, A novel way of listening/ musical mindfulness

The sphere of music (as so much else today) is too Yang oriented. Everything is about products and productions. We talk about music, CD-s, performances, remixes, interpretation but often leave out the Yin aspect – listening and perception. If you are interested in findings about how to approach music in a novel manner, almost as if it was wine, fund with a dollar. HOMEPAGE // CLICK HERE

partyology, the art and science of refined party life

Parties and social intercourse are often too coarse and primitive. How to regain the enjoyment and finesse of yesteryear? Fund with a dollar if news about this interests you. HOMEPAGE // CLICK HERE

Journey to Melosophia: adventures and explorations in Music-land

Another musical project of mine, not only concerned with listening but more generally with the musical domain. We often think music is a known and explored continent. I hold that there are still mysteries to unravel, even about Ravel. Fund with a dollar if you want to partner in this exploration. HOMEPAGE // CLICK HERE


This is so new it still has no Patreon page, just an introductory home page. Watch out for developments, this is where my best ideas will see the light of the computer monitor. WHOLE NOTE

PS: As you can see some projects are currently somewhat passive. It is hard to juggle with eight balls, sometimes three is a lot. Also, areas that do not generate income are sometimes deserted for those that do. That’s life sometimes.

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Datorerna går för snabbt

[Kåseri publicerat i Internetworld. Skrivet nån gång under sent 90tal. På den tiden var min paroll “hård men rättvis”. Jag har mjuknat en del, blivit mera YIN och långsam sen dess, men försöker vara lika klarsynt.]

Datorerna går för snabbt. “Men så överraskande att Horatius tycker det! Han har kanske, till skillnad från oss andra dödliga, ständigt gott om tid.”

En klassisk motivering för jakten efter snabbhet, vare sig det gäller datorer eller högfartståg, är att man sparar tid. Men som så ofta överskuggar effektivitetstänkandet det sunda förnuftet. Vi satsar massor med pengar (och tid) på att utröna hur vi ska kunna spara ännu mera tid. Däremot har vi ingen seriös diskussion om hur man ska  använda den besparade tiden.

Om jag åker X 2000, äter snabbmakaroner, snabbframkallar min film, samt sparar tio sekunder på att göra en omkörning på motorvägen — och sedan använder mina besparingar till att bläddra i en gratistidning eller halvt sovande glo på TV:n… då är jag en idiot. Det är som att torka sig i ändan med månadslönen.

Vår kultur ignorerar, rentav undviker, den viktigare frågan om tidens användning. Alla medborgare är i god demokratisk, förlåt infantokratisk anda fria att förslösa sin tid efter behag. De mera boklärda konstruerar skönt klingande sofismer om det futila i att söka skilja mellan meningsfull och meningslös tid. Låt dem fylla sina liv med meningsfulla futiliteter.

Vad är medel, vad är mål? Och hur mycket uppriktighet kostar vi på oss?

Få är så svidande ärliga att de erkänner att de sparar tid bara för att kunna titta mera på TV. Få erkänner att de byter till en snabbare dator bara för att de inte vill vara sämre än kompisen som inte vill vara sämre än kollegan som inte vill vara sämre än grannen.

Jag säger inte att det inte finns andra och bättre motiv för att skaffa snabbare dator, bara att jakten på snabbhet alltför ofta bottnar i simpel trendkåthet.

I Paris talar man om vårens kjollängd, i datorvärlden om höstens processorhastighet. Men medan kjolarnas längd går upp och ner och därmed erbjuder en behaglig variation beskriver processorernas och modemens hastighetsutveckling en tröttsamt förutsägbar kurva

I mina drömmar säger branschfolket att årets datormodell ska gå aningens långsammare än förra årets. Löpsedlarna förkunnar: NU GÅR DATORN TILLRÄCKLIGT SNABBT!

Drömma kan man ju… I verkligheten skulle någon redan efter en vecka utropa: VÅR MODELL GÅR ÄNNU SNABBARE! Dvs. är ännu bättre. Ingen ifrågasätter ekvationen snabbare= bättre. (Möjligen norrlänningarna då.)

Jag använde nyss ordet infantokrati, ett sällsynt ord som för den skull inte är svårt att förstå. Det handlar om pojkstyre, om inte manligt men pojkigt tänkande.

Snabbhet har en infantiliserande verkan på oss människor. Eller så pekar vår snabbhetssträvan på något infantilt. Hur som helst, det är ett drag hos barn, speciellt bortskämda barn, att vilja ha saker “på en gång, NU!”.

“Det får inte ta för lång tid” är vår tids tragikomiska refräng. “Nolltid” är också ett märkligt ord som ständigt trillar ur vår mun. Det borde vara straffbelagt att inbilla människor att saker kan “gå på nolltid”.

Den bortskämde blir aldrig nöjd, det är alltid något som fattas. Hos den bortskämde själv fattas tacksamhet och förundran. Förundran över det vardagliga tyder på mänsklig storhet. Men numera är vi inte ens förundrade över det extraordinära, det fantastiska.

Datorn är (jag tillstår det) en fantastisk maskin, men redan efter några veckors eller bara dagars förundran börjar vi gnälla över vad den INTE har, vad den INTE kan.

Den viktigare frågan är inte vilken dator vi ska köpa utan hurdana människor vi vill vara. Bortskämdhet hos barn kan vara irriterande, hos vuxna blir den rent livsfarlig.

Se bara på miljöfrågan.

Att vi behöver en långsiktig planering för att bromsa miljöförstöringen är de flesta överens om. Men långsiktighet förutsätter tålamod, accepterandet av långsamheten. Tålmodigt miljöarbete (trist!) och otåligt lönsamhetstänkande går inte ihop.

I en kultur som sätter likhetstecken mellan snabbhet och utveckling är det ytterst svårt att fatta verkligt långsiktiga, hållbara beslut.

Reklamen stryker oss medhårs och påstår att “det är människans strävan efter bekvämlighet som driver utvecklingen framåt”.

Helt fel! Det är naturligtvis villigheten att göra det som INTE är bekvämt som driver utvecklingen framåt. Den mänskliga utvecklingen, vill säga. Handen på hjärtat, det är för lätt att förbättra datorer. Låt oss anta en större utmaning och utveckla, uppgradera människomaskinen.

Någon har myntat begreppet processorstress. Det är den stress och press man känner när ens bekanta har snabbare processor än man själv har. Det är alltså inte längre storleken som grabbarna jämför utan snabbheten. Datorn har övertagit elgitarrens roll som penisförlängare.

I detta pojkiga klimat väntar man förgäves på hjälp och uppmuntran för att bli vuxen. Däremot bjuds vi många tillfällen till pubertala klavertramp.

Det kräver både integritet, anspråkslöshet och en viss vuxenhet för att kunna säga: Min dator går tillräckligt snabbt. Kommersen vill ju hela tiden inbilla oss att den inte går tillräckligt snabbt, eller åtminstone att den mycket snart kommer att gå för långsamt.

Och varken reklam eller vänner säger: Så klokt av dig att acceptera tekniska begränsningar! Istället framställs man som oambitiös, en föredetting, om man är nöjd med den utrustning man redan har. Salivering har blivit ett mått på “framåtanda”.

Så är det att leva i en infantokrati vars kardinalleksak är datorn. Oh boy!

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The new Sunday orgy

Sundays nowadays make me think of my time in New York.

When Sunday meant the Sunday edition of The New Your Times (almost a kilo of reading matter).

That’s because I only read Facebook comments on Sundays. Their weight is open for discussion, but my Slim Line means that I don’t do my usual Log and Run in 5 minutes-routine. I stay a bit longer.

I might even drink a cup of coffee..

In this way Facebook almost becomes fun. Instead of drowning in a steady stream of attention-stealing distraction my Sunday turns into a little orgy, a slightly longer dip in the social media ocean.

As Paracelus said: Everything is poison and nothing is without poison. The dosage decides if it is poison.

Ready for the FB dip!

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Science has destroyed the best of religion

Something very regrettable has happened in this scientific era of ours.

Our “religious questions” (as so much else) have gone binary.

Does God exist?

This, together with similar Yes-No questions like “Was there a historic Jesus?” are now our “religious” questions.

Sorry, they are in no way religious; they are scientific (if even that)

A religious question, if you ask me, is How should we live? That is a question aimed at ourselves, not a matter of proving this or that point. An inner question, pointing not to others but to our own behavior.

How shall I live? is a question of ethics.

Thus a question for our heart.

But science cannot handle the heart. It has no instruments for measuring ethics (and what cannot be measured and quantified is out), and for science the heart is a mere pump and muscle.

Meaning that science does not see very far, and that in our world the radical root questions (concerning US, not THEM) are being replaced by narrow, nerdy attempts at proving and disproving things, not living a truth.

Much talk, little walk. Little ethics, much mathematics.

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Enkla men svåra sanningar

Börjar vakna för visdomen i korta (svenska) sentenser.

De ger hopp på något sätt. Att vi hört dem så ofta betyder att de är “parkerade” i vår hjärna; de finns redan där, nu gäller det bara att vrida om nyckeln och starta motorn. (Och förstås höra dessa gamla fraser med nya öron.)

Några exempel.

En i taget (suveränt råd mot sjukan multi-tasking och multi-scattering)

Man kan om man vill (bot mot tron tvärtom: Man vill om man kan)

Det är som det är (svårt att säga mot, EXTREMT lätt att göra emot)

Man får ta det onda med det goda (samma kommentar)

Med mera, med mera. Ett sista exempel:

Det enkla är det svåra.

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